While most people were still reveling in the high of the new year on January 3rd, I went back to work.
Now, while this in and of itself is not usually cause for immediate stress, it is for those of us who work for the Man at THE OFFICE. January 3rd began like it did for all the rest of you working that day, but sadly dissolved into a scathing diatribe from the Man because none of us of had any appointments the first week of January. I know, right?! A lot of people arent even back from vacation yet, but his lordship (and yes thats purposely in lower case letters) saw fit to bitch us out for a good 20 minutes about our lack of committment and/or ability to do our jobs. He could easily have us all replaced tomorrow with a new staff of serfs, errrr, salespeople who would be willing to work harder than we apparently are.
This was January 3rd.
January 4th started out with the vague hope of a better day, however ended with the news that the rumored salary increase was no longer in the cards, however our quota had been tripled. Yeah, tripled. But look at how much more money you can make under this new plan!! Under the old plan at 100% of quota, you would make 700 MAGIC BEANS, but on the new plan, you make 2100 MAGIC BEANS!! OMG, how lucky are we all now that the powers that be have instituted the new pay plan?!
Do you see how theyre hooking us up? Wanna go through it one more time?
Old plan: Must sell 100 COWS. Commission at 100% of quota = 700 MAGIC BEANS
New plan: Must sell 300 COWS. Commission at 100% of quota = 2100 MAGIC BEANS
Are you insulted to the point of using profanity? Good, Im glad to know I am not the only one who can actually COUNT.
January 7th began like every other morning. Up at 5am in order to leave by 530am to get Luca to daycare by 6am, blah blah blah... you know the drill. This morning however, as I made my way out to the car to leave, I noticed my tires were flat. Not only flat, but they had razorblades in them. Yes, razorblades! And the craziest part? It happened overnight, in my driveway, in a our quiet Anaheim suburban neighborhood.
I officially have an ulcer now.
January 9th, was a particularly frustrating day at THE OFFICE, as has become the custom, however it also saw a bit of a personal drama unfold as well. Hahaha, I know what youre thinking, this is all personal drama, is it not? Well, this was a drama of a personal nature that I do not wish to elaborate on further. Hows that? Suffice it to say, it was one of those things where someone let you down in a way you never thought they would, and it just hurt.... (sigh).
In the words of Forrest Gump: "Thats all Ive got to say about that.... "
January 11th was a day of personal revelation. Read the post "The Road to Hell", if I ever manage to finish it! I dont remember most of the details of the day, but finally I got a chance to sit and talk with my sister. We were having a nice time until the topic of conversation got heavy and we began to talk about how overloaded we both have been with life lately. Now, at first it was nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way lately, but at the same time talking about it makes you relive it. And, of course, the conversation inevitably steered to the above mentioned "personal drama".
Now, this in and of itself was not necessarily a bad thing. Its healthy to be able to talk about these things with someone you trust, and usually helps to eventually be able to figure things out. That night, January 11th and into the wee hours of the 12th, that is exactly what happened, as we dissected not only the Jan 9th incident, but the last several years of my life. While you would think the result would be a sort of peace and catharsis, youd be wrong. The thing that stood out most to me about the last few years was a stunning realization that made me utterly sick to my stomach...
Pass the Pepto please.
January 17th was filled with the usual family drama, for which I need not elaborate upon for most. But, seeing as this is entirely commonplace, and I strive to be anything but, you know a bigger problem just went and chose to rear its ugly head, and spice up my day. What ugly monster did I get to deal with January 17th, in addition to everything else? Well none other than the Department of Motor Vehicles, and the Superior Court of Orange County.
And can I just say what a pleasure it always is to work with the civil servants of the great state of Calee-Fohn-yah?! They come to serve the public with such compassion that it truly warms the cockles of my heart. You would never know it by their attitude and helpfulness that they really can do as poorly at work as they please because it takes an act of Congress to remove them from their position once they have secured it. Its this can-do attitude that landed me in employ in January.
So what business did I have to go take care of at the Superior Court? Well I had to go ask the court NOT to suspend my drivers license over a violation I had already taken care of. As it turns out, even if you complete traffic school in a timely manner as I had done, the DMV sometimes takes "up to 60 days to file" the completed paperwork. Yeah, thats right, they will just threaten to suspend your license instead! A momument of efficiency I tell you! This is where are tax dollars are going.
January 18th, finally gave me a much needed repreive as I headed down to San Diego for a Moms Gone Wild Weekend! Id tell you about it, but I dont really remember much beyond lots of wine, dancing, and fun. If I hadnt had this weekend, I dont think Id be around to recount the month of January for you.
January 20th was a bit sad as it was the official end to the Moms Gone Wild weekend, and because the Chargers lost to the evil empire, the New England Patriots. While I wasnt surprised by it, nor was I really shocked when Mark called half a dozen times wanting to know when the hell I was going to "relieve" him of caring for his son, I was still in good spirits as I left San Diego. The weekend was such a blessed release, nothing would get me down! Until I realized my brand new camera I received for Christmas, had been stolen.
January 21st, with the loss of my new tiny digital camera still fresh, my personal computer decided it could no longer go on either. It took with it all of my pictures (including all of the photos of Luca as a baby), my music, and writing (finished and unfinished pieces). It was 6 years old.
January 23rd was another highlight of my professional career. The Man gathered all of us worthless serfs and drove us out into the middle of a foriegn land that might as well have been called Narnia, where he left us to forage for golden acorns and magic orbs. It was smashingly successful at wasting both our time, and our gas allowances.
January 26th should have been a nice day, and it was until the breaks on my Jeep went out. I watched helplessly as more money was heaped upon the bonfire that had become the month of January.
By January 29th, I was at the end of my rope. I was so thankful that 1) January was practically over, but also 2) I was finally getting to have a nice dinner out with my friend Sarah while neither of us had children with us. As I strolled up to Lucille's Smokehouse, ready for some great food, conversation, and cocktails, I looked at my BlackBerry, only to find it unresponsive. I tried several things like taking out the battery, and hitting the reset button, all to no avail, when I finally saw the problem. The OFF button had somehow become depressed and it was stuck. Unfortunately, so was I. I did not purchase insurance on my phone, because in 8 years of owning a cell phone, I have never used it when Ive had it. And, seeing as I just re-upped my contract, I was worried I would have to pay full price for a new phone.
That was the straw that broke the camels back.
Thank GOD that Sarah is such a wonderful and patient woman. Then again, she has 4 kids, so she has to be! But still!! She got to catch the live show of this blog, and was a true friend. True friends are just about the only thing that have helped me through this month. After my 15 minute vent session, we had cocktails in our hands, and a lovely evening. As we drove our seperate ways, I thanked God again for good friends, and that the month was indeed, ALMOST over.
When I got in the house I whipped out my handy exacto-knife, and was able to pop the OFF button out, and my phone came back to life. I cannot tell you how releived I felt at that moment to have just one little break this month, but it actually made me feel like eventhough I was sitting on rock bottom at the moment, things were looking up, and going to be ok...
Then my dad walked in and told me that my mother had had a stroke that day.
Suddenly the bottom fell out..
As you know, my mom is fine, at least for now. Thank you all so much for the prayers and thoughts for her.
So I apologize to everyone for being MIA. I know I havent called most people back. I havent felt like writing anything- not emails, not blogs, nothing. I have kinda just been in a hole, trying to stay alive. The last few months have been very very hard, but January was one of the hardest months in I dont know how long. I feel bruised and beaten, in every way. I have been financially drained by January, emotionally battered, and physically just run down to the point that I have spent the first part of February actually SICK.
But, I am happy to report I am feeling better (physically), Im getting bolder, and Im ready to climb out of the hole. I may be bruised and bloody, but I am ready to take on 2008!
