Anyhow, the piss in my cheerios today has to do with the fact that while Luca's dad is by no means a bad guy, he isnt really the greatest one either. I know he does love our son, but the last 2 1/2 years have revealed quite a number of disturbing things, which pretty much add up to the fact that he does love our son, but not nearly as much as he loves himself.
Late last week, I asked him to make me a copy of the pictures he took of Luca from my sister's wedding. Much to my surprise, I only had to ask him once, and by the weekend, I had a CD full of pictures. As I went through the various files, I was quite pleasantly surprised to see he had also included several different folders of pictures that he had taken over the last month during the days he kept our son. The pictures were mostly of Luca playing hockey, or sitting in the back seat of the truck, or playing at the park, and it was nice to get to see a little snapshot of what life is like with Daddy, when I am not around.
As I opened the last folder, I quickly flipped through the pictures, as most of them were pretty much the same as the previous ones- Luca at the park. But, as I clicked furiously through the shots, one in particular caught my eye. When I saw this particular photo, I felt sick to my stomach, and began examining it to see if it was possible this one slipped into the folder by mistake. Sadly, this was not the case. Not only did the file name show that it was indeed the next picture in that batch of photos (because digital cameras have a really creative way of naming photos with sequential numeric file names), but all of the things present in the background from the previous photos, were present in this photo as well.
My heart sank.
What was this mysterious photo that would make me so upset? Well, let me show you.
Even as I look it now, it upsets me. Why? Well to quote my good friend Lindsay: "Oh, I see he brought his WHORE with him!". (Thinking) Yeah, I think that about sums it up!
Now, I dont care if Luca's dad dates. I am not in love with him anymore, and its been nearly 3 years since we broke up, so I could care less. I also dont care if he screws his way through the phone book. Thats the magic of breaking up, I dont have to care!! I dont care how much weed he smokes. I dont care how much money he wastes on liquor and other crap when hes out with his buddies, as they pretend to be two young "wild and crazy" guys, not a couple of 33 year old men living together in a crappy apartment.
Bottom line, I really dont care what he does in his personal life, as long as he is doing it on his own time. But what I do care about is how he acts when he is watching our son. What upsets me about this photo, is that it was taken while our son was present.
Now, I dont know who this pre-pubescent girl is, but chances are she didnt merely stand there in her little sundress and Jackie O shades, flipping her blonde hair around and posing for Luca's dad. Chances are, she also went over and held my son. She probably tried to played with my son, and tried to show his father what a good mommy she could be. THAT is what bothers me so much- THAT, is the BIG deal. THAT is what makes my blood boil.
And, its not only the fact that this happened that upsets me so much, its the fact that Luca's dad broke the rules- the rules HE demanded we have in place for the well being of our son. He insisted we not introduce ANYONE we see casually to our son. The only time we can introduce a boyfriend/girlfriend to Luca, is if the relationship becomes serious, and marriage becomes a discussed possibility. When this situation arises, Luca's dad made me swear that I would let him know, or vice versa, and then we would get to meet the new serious partner before they get to be introduced to our son.
I whole-heartedly agree with this rule. I dont think its healthy for a young child to see a barrage of people moving in and out of their life. I for one have respected this rule, and have asked Luca's dad if he was also adhering to the rules, because a couple of times his behavior has been a bit questionable. Each time I asked, he got extremely mad and answered "Of course I am! You know how I feel about Luca being introduced to other people". That was his story, and he was sticking to it!
Yet, here it is maybe a month later, and there she is. Walking around in a little dress, parading around in front of our son, most likely hanging all over his father. In living color, proof positive, of yet another lie.
I guess this right here is the real reason my heart sank. While I HATE the thought of this little girl, trying to play mommy to my son, my heart sinks to think I cannot trust his father. Time and time again he has lied, about all sorts of stupid little things that were easily found out, but this time, the lie was considerably bigger. This wasnt a load of laundry, this was some girl- how did that go in Tommy Boy? "Some WHORE walking around with her booty shake"? What did my 2 year old son think watching some strange girl parading around in front of him, hanging all over his father, and most likely picking him up and trying to play with him??! This was the very situation his father created this rule to prevent, yet he is the one who brought it to fruition.
I shouldnt be at all surprised, yet I am.
So, what did I do you ask? What do you think I did?! I called him immediately and demanded explanation, right before I ripped him a new asshole!
Psssshhhhhh!!! Hardly!
Obviously, lying is not a problem for Luca's father, which you might think poses a problem for my quest to uncover the truth, but let me tell you why it really doesnt. Luca's dad may be a big F*CKING liar, but he HATES confrontation. The easiest way to tell if he is lying or not, is to see if his lips are moving.... Oh wait, my bad, thats lawyers I am thinking of. The easiest way to see if he is lying, is to confront him in person. Sure, hes usually just as lame on the phone, and you can tell by the hesitation in his voice that something is rotten in Denmark, but in person its like you hit him in the face with a rubber chicken. He doesnt expect it, and really, who does? Who uses rubber chickens anymore?! That is so Fozzy Bear....
I wanted the truth, so I didnt call him on the phone and confront him, I waited. I waited until yesterday, when I had an excuse to see him at work. Work seems to be a particularly good place to do something like this, because not only is he not expecting it there, he also usually has a few workers around, so he cant make a huge scene like he usually does when he lies. Ever notice that? People who have been caught, but dont want to come clean tend to make a huge spectacle with their behavior as a way to try to turn things around and take the focus off the matter at hand?
Anyhow, I came up with an excuse to see him at his shop. (And, just as a sidebar, this is a metal shop, as in welding, and painting, grimy and dirty. Im not going into a retail establishment and calling him out here) Just as I expected, he was hard at work, and didnt even notice I was there at first. Once I caught his eye, we began to talk as he went to get what I had come for that day. As he was walking out to my car to put the item I came for into my trunk, because despite all his tragic personality flaws, he is a very polite and chivalrous man, I casually praised him for his excellent photography skills.
"Oh, you liked the pictures? I thought you would, and thats why I included the extra ones for you too.", he said. He stood there smiling at me, waiting for a pat on the head or a treat for doing something good, and I smiled back at him. I think this was my favorite moment of the whole ordeal right here, take a moment to savor it with me, will you?
As I stood there smiling at him, looking into his eyes, I am sure he took this smile for my approval of his actions, and for a brief moment reveled in the gold star he thought he had afforded himself. Little did he know that my warm smile was because my blood was still boiling, and I knew I was merely seconds away from lowering the hammer on his unsuspecting head.
"Well, I especially liked the picture of that blonde chick in the park with Luca", I said calmly, never breaking eye contact, or letting my smile fade.
"What blonde chick?", he asked, looking sincerely confused.
"The one, in the park, with you and Luca", I continued, still smiling...
"Who?! Is it Carrie?" (one of his friend's wives), he questioned, clearly searching the recesses of his brain for what picture I was speaking about.
"No, I know Carrie, and it is DEFINITELY not her...", sarcasm undoubtedly dripping from my lips like venom.
"Then I dont know!", he declared, as if he clearly was at a loss.
Now, at this point, I thought this was going to be the end of things. He doesnt know who I mean, or at least, he has finally mastered the art of playing stupid. I was disappointed. I thought for sure his brain fart had squashed my chances of finding out what was going on, but, then something completely unexpected occurred!! Clearly tormented that he didnt know who I was talking about, the idiot suddenly noticed the big red X on the ground, and walked over to examine it...just like Wiley Coyote...
I stood there, mouth gaping as I watched him walk back into his office. He then proceeded to ask me what the date on the folder was, and then, he opened it and began scrolling through the pictures. Whatever possessed him, I dont know, but I do know when he came upon the above photo, a look came over his face as if he had just shit himself!
WHAM!!!! Down came the hammer! LOL
It was PRICELESS! (Savor it with me, savor it!!) I dont know, this may have been my favorite moment of the entire ordeal... God's little gift to me!!
"Oh...", he gasped guiltily, before delivering yet another of his signature stupidest-comment-possible statements:
"Its not a big deal Beth!", he snapped defensively.
Not a big deal? Is he serious?! When I asked who she was, my heart sank even more.
"That was just a date, ok. Just some girl I went out with a time or two... Look, its NOT A BIG DEAL", he insisted while looking down, most likely in fear of the fire in my eye, or the right hook that might catch his if he dared to look up.
I went on to remind him about the rules we have in place; the rules he himself had insisted we needed to have in place, to dictate how we are to act around our son, and how we are to proceed in this same situation. And, I went on to explain to him how this was in fact, a very BIG deal.
The fact that Holly Hoebag was "just some girl" he went out with a time or two made it a lot worse than if this had been a serious relationship he was having. He let "just some girl" meet our son. He had the flipping nerve to have a **DATE** with our son there, and a date with"just some girl" to boot. I was furious, and I know he could tell.
Youd think at this point is where I got down to ripping him a new asshole, but youd be wrong. I was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, now that the truth had been exposed. I did not however let him off the hook on this matter. I reiterated to him, that I dont care what the hell he does in his personal life on his OWN time, but when he has our son, this is not acceptable.
You would also think that at this point, after having being caught by his own stupidity, Luca's dad wouldve sacked up and been a man about this whole thing, but youd again be wrong. But, seeing as most of you know Luca's dad, I doubt any of you expected anything less, and are just waiting to see how he can possibly make things worse now that the truth is out.
What did he do? Of course- he defended his actions. It wasnt his fault.... because nothing ever truly is- but this is another blog altogether... It wasnt his fault you see.... Holly Hoebag called him that day and said she just happened to be driving through his neck of the OC, and wanted to know if she could see him for a while. He told her he was at the park, and she just showed up! There was nothing he couldve done. I know, right? Ill give you a moment to laugh at the logic there....
She called him, and asked if she could see him, but there was nothing he couldve done to prevent this random and unplanned casual visit on a Sunday afternoon. I know this is rudimentary folks, but when dealing with morons, well.... When I asked why he didnt just tell her "no" when she asked if she could see him, he didnt have an answer. "She was just driving by, there were no plans". Yeah, because her outfit screams "just passing through, casually", doesnt it?
So, how did it end? I merely stretched his existing asshole instead of ripping him a new one. I was gentle. Oh look, Im growing as a person. Or maybe its just because I was wearing silk that day and you have to get that shit dry-cleaned, who knows.... Regardless, I let him know he messed up big time, and he promised it wouldnt happen again.
I dont know about you, but I feel better. Because as we all know from Captain Jack Sparrow, you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest.
Well, praise the Lord, hes not one of those "honest" types- you never know what they are going to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment