So being that it yesterday was an international holiday today, I had the obligation to speak to Mark briefly on the phone. After the perfunctory and glib holiday well wishes, he cheerfully asked to talk to his son. Usually Luca is all for chatting it up on the phone any chance he gets, but apparently he wasnt feeling very Canadian, and did nothing but stare at the phone.
Feeling dejected, Mark turned his sights on me, and began punishing me for our offspring's insolence. While I cannot manage to remember how in the world the conversation brought us to the topic (most likely because all I was hearing on the other end of the line was blah blah blah), Mark decided to make a snide comment about one of Luca's tshirts.
"I love how you dress our kid in stupid shit like, 'My Moms Outta Your League'. Shows that youre really insecure about yourself", he retorted venomously.
I rolled my eyes as I prepared for myself for what would likely be a lengthy adolescent tirade aimed at tearing me down, but under the guise, of course, of friendly joking.
"Ive got a tshirt of my own", he continued.
Yup, here we go! I thought to myself.
"It says 'I Support Single Moms', and it has a nice picture of a lady that looks like you, on a stripper pole", he said, clearly pleased with himself.
What happened next was one of those beautiful moments where despite being taken aback by someone's boorishness, the perfect rebuttal flows effortlessly and coolly from your lips.
"Well Im glad to hear you are supporting a single mother SOMEWHERE."
As the words flew from my mouth, they sliced the air with such precision and landed upon their target with such stinging accuracy, that I could practically hear the sound of leather meeting flesh. All of the sudden the phrase "Ohhhh, snap!!" had very real meaning, and the stunned silence that emanated from the other end of the line was sweet.
Ahhhh, nothing beats a well worded BURN. Happy Easter to me.
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